IFYAM: Stop Being The “Crazy” Girlfriend

IFYAM stands for "If You Ask Me" and is an unsolicited advise section on random life issues.

This is an ode to all of the crazy girlfriends out there. Let’s just take a step back and chill!

First off, you may be asking your self, “Am I a crazy girlfriend?” Chances are, if you have to ask, you already know. I don’t like to uplift the crazy but I can’t deny that I have been the crazy girlfriend a time or two before. What causes the crazy girlfriend to wil’ out and not care who’s looking? If you are crazy, how do you change? Coming from a semi reformed crazy girlfriend, let me help you. Put your hand in my hand, let’s take a walk, I promise I won’t look anywhere else but into your eyesūüėć.

What causes you or your girlfriend to go crazy!?¬†This could be a number of things, but let’s just touch on some of the key factors.

  1. Past relationships or past incidents in the current relationship can cause a girlfriend to be on edge. Once something happens to break trust in can be hard to not be on the defensive. If you’ve lied about something important or said you were one place when you were somewhere totally different, don’t be surprised if your girlfriend is tracking you via Find My iPhone. Now you word isn’t good enough, she needs physical proof that you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Yes, it’s your fault!
  2. Insecurities can ¬†also play a big part in the crazy girlfriends way of thinking. If she doesn’t feel beautiful, she’s going to assume you are finding beauty in all of the photos of those Instagram girls with the big butts and boobs we can only get if we manage to win a Dr. Miami body makeover giveaway. Next time you see Bernice Burgos Instagram fellas just keep scrolling. Do you really need to double tap that? Gosh!
  3. She might not even know she’s being crazy! Sometimes, what you might think is crazy, is really just normal behavior for her. She’s done these things so much and so often she’s not even aware that she might be taking things a bit too far with you. Maybe she doesn’t need to have her friends following you to work to make sure you stay there all day. Plus if she’s tracking you via Find My iPhone, it’s just overkill.
  4. Take a look at your self. Really ask your self, what might you be doing to encourage this behavior. Yes, everyone has the right to choose there reaction to the stimuli in front of them. But you can only ask so much of your significant other. Are there things she’s been asking you to do or not do that you’ve failed to pay attention to?

So it’s broken, how do you fix it?

I though you’d never ask! There two parts to this, if you’re a crazy girlfriend, we’ll talk to you first. You have no patience!

  1. Work on yourself! There’s no better way to work on your quality of life than to improve upon yourself. Maybe you need to seek counseling,¬†to help you get rid of that baggage or maybe you just need to share how it is affecting you with your current partner. Sometimes the best way to let go of somethings is to just put it all out there until you feel better. If you need help sticking to a goal, check this article out.
  2. Tell yourself you are beautiful! It sounds so cliche but it can work wonders. And if you don’t believe it when you are saying it, it doesn’t hurt to change things up a bit. Try a new hairstyle, go to the gym or buy some new clothes. I know there are so many things you’ve been thinking about doing but you can’t do them because you’re trying to make sure you don’t miss something bad that hasn’t happened yet. Go take care of yourself and don’t worry about anyone else.
  3. You can’t control the past or the future. You can’t spend you time worrying about what might happen, and you know this. But if something does happen, wouldn’t you want to be painting that mural or writing that book you’ve been dreaming about instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  4. No, we aren’t going to tell you to drop your partner. Only you know if that’s the best option for you. But if they are the trigger for you to turn into the Sherlock Homegirl… we may want to consider this option. But also know you may need to cut your man some slack. Running isn’t always the option, don’t be afraid to work on yourself or apologize when it’s needed.

Now for Mr. Fix It. I’m just going to give you some bullet points so it’s easy to follow along. We know you don’t like to read. If you’ve gotten this far, round of applause. And not the kind you get in the strip club.

  • Check yourself. What are you doing and what could you do different?
  • Make more deposits. Tell your girl she’s beautiful and that you love her pancake booty. Surprise her with gifts. Shower her with love!
  • Listen to her! You’d be surprised how many times you might avoid an issue.
  • Be honest, and truthful about how you want to change and what you’re going to do to fix things that went wrong in the past.
  • Let her know, gently, when she’s taking her investigation or her words too far. You’re not your mistakes or the last guys.
  • If you love her, don’t give up. It’s hard to find love these days, if it’s worth it, and she’s trying, don’t give up!

Bottom line, no one starts off crazy and no one is saying that you have to deal with it. If one person is acting out in a relationship, it’s possible¬†that you both have things you need to fix. But work with each other, not against each other. If you both truly love one another then you have the same goal in mind. It’s not going to be easy and it will be uncomfortable but it will be worth it!

**If you can think of some other tips or tricks on overcoming issues in a relationship, leave us a comment below! We can use all the help we can get :)**

Image > Flickr

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Hello! I am 27, a wife and mother. This is my creative outlet to share my dreams, hopes and encouragement.
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